Why Begin Again?

And more importantly, why did I start in the first place?

  I am the married mother of a wonderful daughter, Alexis, born 02/18/09.  I am a pretty straight shooter and having Alexis did not alter that at all.  In fact, it might be worse now more than ever.  However, I have been told by numerous people with and without children, that I say many of the things they are thinking.

  In relation to my child, I believe she was only 3 days old when I said she bore a greater resemblance to a Venusian neighbor than to anyone from this planet (much less me!)  Since then, although I love and adore Alexis more than anyone else, the honest truth prevails when I look at her.  I will tell you that she is over-dramatic, quite clumsy, and a tad spoiled.  She is in the 5th percentile for height and weight, she has little interest in any kind of fine motor skill, and has an even shorter attention span than most 2 year-olds.  

  That being said, Alexis spoke her first understandable word at 8 months old when she pointed at a friend's cat and said "kitty". The friend responded "Yes that is our kitty...wait, did you just say 'kitty'?"  Alexis' verbal skills are off the charts and I love it.  No really, I do.  It is wonderful to have a child who does not have to resort to temper tantrums because no one understands him or her (how frustrating for most toddlers and their parents!). Yet, my patience is tested all day long because my child never stops making noise.  Yes, you read that correctly: noise.  Sure, her vast vocabulary is fantastic...sure, I always know what's on her mind...sure, she knows I understand her.  As you are potentially wondering why I am complaining about this, please try to come up with one person you know that you honestly want to hear talk all day, that you actually want to hear every thought bubble that pops into his head, that at some point doesn't make you want to throw a shoe at his head if he says one. more. word.

  For anyone who currently is raising an adolescent (or God bless you, has successfully sailed through that stormy season and come out on the other side), I apologize for whining about the communication.  I am sure I too will long for these days when I couldn't get Alexis to stop talking.  But I am not there yet.  My perspective on a daily basis is rooted in toddlerhood.  Its reverse Charlie Brown-adult noise, "wah wah wah wah wah wah".  My daughter is quite possibly the world's chattiest 2 year-old.  I have been asked if I think Alexis is some super brilliant child.  The answer is quite simply no.  Alexis fools people by continual vocalization.  If you are around her, you hear every single thing that pops into her head.  She needs to learn that not everyone cares about every thought process she has!  Discretion please Alexis; wait for the quarter before dispensing a gumball.

  I am irritated daily by the endless sound of my daughter's voice.  By 6:00pm, I would rather see the verbiage swirling around a wine glass than pouring out of her mouth.  But I listen and she talks and we have discussions because she is my daughter and I feel it is my obligation to hear her voice.  There are enough people in her life that will metaphorically and literally tell her to shut up.  I cannot be one of those people.  

  So to answer my own question above, while I may say the things other parents are thinking to other adults, I cannot bring myself to say them to Alexis.  She deserves more than that.  So I will write them here.  Hopefully someday she can read them and laugh, but until then, I am one giant ear with which to listen to the babbling flow of her words.